Debt collectors have one concern, and they only want one thing: your money. Beyond that, they don’t want to help you deal with your problems – they have no interest in those except as a way to persuade you to send them money.
And at least in most cases, professional debt collectors don’t much want to hurt you, either – although there are some sadists.
You’ll do better looking at them in the same way. You need to handle them in order to succeed, but you don’t get anything for trying to make them feel bad. In fact, that desire in itself might be a hook that lets them hurt you.
Debt collection is a social justice issue. But the first step in fighting it is to keep them from getting any of YOUR money.